My soul is overflowing

I tell ya. Went to church tonight and God was definitely speaking to me through the service and the worship. The topic was "Just Say Yes: When you Don't Understand."

Our minister talked about God asking Abraham to slay Isaac as a sacrifice and I thought about how hard that would be to make that choice especially since he and Sarah had wanted a child for so long and God finally blessed them with Isaac when they were very old. I am not sure that I could have been as faithful as Abraham. I thought about how hard our journey has been to create our family and how I wished it hadn't been this difficult and all of the things we have gone through along our journey to create a family, outsider's preconceived notions of what a family should like (and ours doesn't match their image at all, etc and how this disqualified us from even being considered to adopt domestically in our home state). As I tell our son, everyone in our immediate family is brown except Mommy and I am pink!

I thought about how I believed we were led to adopt from Ethiopia from the beginning, but we shyed away initially due to the prejudices Ray and I had faced already being a mixed couple, but something in me, call it motherly intuition had a feeling our daughter was there, but we had to try to kick down 3 more doors--Guatemala, Nepal, Vietnam, and finally Ethiopia to finally arrive in Ethiopia where our beautiful, smart, wonderful daughter was there waiting all the time.

God had perfect timing. If we had been earlier to Ethiopia, she wouldn't be our daughter! So, I learned the lesson of making sure we say "Yes" to our God when he is leading us. I also became aware of how much I am truly grateful to be chosen to be our children's mother. God picked them out perfectly for me and my husband. As I tell them, I am your mother, and God was waiting to decide what family you were going to be with and he chose us and he chose you to be our children and I am so glad he did!

I am going to post the songs we sang tonight as they were truly uplifting and got me through some of the darkest days of our adoption process. Now, that our children are ours, I definitely know that God's hand was in this all the time, I am so embarrassed for lacking the faith at the time and not trusting that he had it all planned. Now, I know to trust in him. Took me 37 years, infertility and a brain tumor, but I think I am finally getting it!:-)